Self Love

Hi,

Diary

Ever questioned to yourself that what is life? Relax! Don’t worry I am not here to give a lecture about this, but I have a wacky thought about this. I think that life is like 17-year-old teenage love life fiasco there is love, drama, self-care, sometimes serious sometimes playing a bluff with trust, making wrong choices that takes to right path or right choice that takes to wrong path.

Why I am explaining this to you? Well there are many reasons as today I learned the actual concept of Self Love

Self-Love as the word indicate and “Loving Yourself” but I guess every time it doesn’t make sense like for me the first time I loved myself for me is because of secondary person, I know it sounds confusing that how a person can learn something like self-love from other person. Don’t worry I can explain this

Remember my date with Vivan or so called my forced date with him that was the result of production and sponsorship of Shanaya.But as it is said something happens for a reason and today I believed in it.

With the thought that I was stood up I was trembling with fear but like an angel he arrived to make my day (by the way I don’t know what is the male version of angel). Can you believe a guy with 6’3 height was approaching towards me, that perfect jaw line with the most amazing smile on his by the way it’s totally not like film scene or something and the reason because this time the lead female protagonist is trembling with fear.

I remember the lesson taught by Shanaya “Never make others notice that there is lack of self-confidence “But the point is here the student in me who don’t even know how to tackle these type of situations

With each step he was taking to reach at my table with that multiple times my heart was thudding, maybe that’s the power of living we don’t know what the next moment will make us feel like

So it was set I am sitting at table not looking at him obviously, how can I just stare into his eyes even I am not able to stare at my own mirror image easily, he is coming towards me. As it’s the café light music is playing in the background perfect scene for a romantic date right?

WRONG

Don’t forget my so called bodyguard Shanaya was sitting diagonally to my table.

At last he came towards me expecting me to stand or greet him, but What I did? I was sitting with my nervousness at my side, because of that only one word came from his mouth “NEEWBIE”and he sat down

That’s not a right way to start a date, he called me Newbie. But who I am to object he was totally right I AM A NEWBIE in this field. The date started and I am sitting like a nervous idiot who don’t know what to say, what to do. But defiantly know how to totally ruin the first impression.

Can you imagine the scene there is a girl who is not uttering a word and there is guy who is totally like a chaotic mess talking nonstop and what the girl is doing, she also doesn’t even know the answer for this?

“Am I that boring that you are not speaking a word? Vivan asked in between

“No, no actually I don’t open up to people that easily “I muttered silently

“Don’t worry I am also same like you; I also don’t talk that much “He said with a smile

“I don’t think so; I mean you talk more than me “I said

“Do you want to know the reason why, because I thought you like boys who talk more

With that line I laughed, and saw his confused face

“Maybe I like to hear more and talk less “I defended

With that we both smiled

“Why not let’s know each other better, and play the game of truth and dare “He asked in confusion

Again this game, I mean seriously I am thinking this game became part of my life I guess

“Okay, let’s start “I said

And the bottled spines as well my mind too

“Bottle is pointing at you, so what you take truth or dare “I asked

“Truth “he said confidently

“So why tinder? “I asked

As soon I asked the question the two things happened first I realized it’s too early to ask this question and second was something that I was not able to understand, Shanaya’s hand and leg gestures. Seriously let me tell you she was looking like monkey that want me to say something and I am naïve to understand this stuff

“Umm, great question but let me be honest I had a breakup recently and my friends thought this is the best way for me to come over my breakup “He said meekly

Oh Shit what I did I seriously bought this type of topic at my first date and broke the guy from inside too what a way to kill two birds with one stone Kiara, well done I thought in my head

“Umm I am sorry to bring this type of stuff “I consoled

“Don’t worry its totally fine, so may I ask you something “He asked

“Yes, sure “I replied

“So why you said yes for this date”

Oh shit how to reply to this type of stuff, I mean I can’t say like my best friend decided all this, please contact her for further reference”

“I just love to know more about new people “I stammered

“That’s nice “He said

Oh wow he totally bought it, with this thought I high-fives myself in my mind

With this line the awkward silence occurred and as usual Shanaya was saying something in form of sign language that I was not able to understand.

And our orders arrived to help me out to escape this awkward silence, I ordered mojito come on I can’t take something like chocolate shake on first day to make those bubbles with straw but as a fact I hate mojito but I have to look like mature lady, Its one of the Shanaya’s date rules

So here I was stucked with mojito and he ordered guess what “Chocolate Shake”, at that time I was so jealous of him and as well as giving those evil glares to Shanaya for this mojito

But wait the night of embarrassment is still not over.

“You look beautiful “He said out of nowhere

And my reaction was

I SPITTED OUT THE MOJITO FROM MY MOUTH

“What “I Screamed

I mean come on I don’t expect this type of compliment and that too for me, I mean this type of compliment game is for the girls who is hot

“Sorry, seriously sorry I didn’t mean to be like this “I was totally getting panicked

Relax was the words that he was saying again and again. I took the tissue to wipe his shirt and what he was doing just smiling and sitting like nothing happened, as this incident happened I got my two strikes. I mean is there any way that this date can do any worse?

I went to my seat and started drinking my drink way to quietly as if nothing happened and was hoping for this to end as soon as possible, my eyes was totally checking out floor as I don’t have guts to have a look at his face and can embarrass myself more

Slurp! Slurp! Slurp!

I heard this type of voice and you will not believe HE WAS THE ONE MAKING THESE TYPE OF NOISE

“Hey! It’s not done like this, you are not making bubbles with this, wait let me show you “I said instantly

Can you believe like a second ago this was the girl who was scared of even looking at his face and she is the same one scolding him for not bubbles correctly in glass?

With this he laughed and tried to make bubbles but instead of that his chocolate shake was spilling all over and because of this I laughed.

In no time we both were making bubbles in our glasses laughing like idiots and again trying to make bubbles

Actually that’s what life is, laugh till your belly hurts and it was true I laughed till I was out of breath with him. We still don’t know a lot about each other, we still are unaware of the things that is happening in our life, we still are trying to figure out equations of our life.

But today I learned something from him that it’s good to live in present. That time was totally mine laughing, smiling, giggling making noises without having an effect of what people will say.

And that’s how I learned Self-love from him

As he didn’t make me fall in love with him he made me fall in love with myself

I didn’t realized how time went while doing goofy things. Maybe people are wrong, date is not about knowing somebody for me it was enjoying with myself again.

As every happy thing comes to end it also came to an end, He like a gentleman said bye, we exchanged our contact numbers and again said

“YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL”   

This time I believed him and with that he went out of the café leaving me totally amazed by this meeting

In no mean time Shanaya came to my table and started to blabber something and what I was doing sitting there and smiling like a 5-year-old kid who got the ice cream after lot of request.

In between Shanaya’s blabbering I heard again message tone of my phone. This time I was not scared as I know it is message from Vivan

But when I opened my phone checked the notification bar and the message that displayed was

{TINDER}

KISHORE sent you a message